|Question courtesy of Thought Questions. Photo by Eduardo Amorim|
What do you miss most?
Before I start my class everyday, I always ask each of my trainees one random question. I figured that it's a great way to jump-start the day as it gets their brains working. It's also a fun way for everyone to get to know each other better. I'd always like to ask questions that would generate positive answers and would make them excited and more motivated to start their new job. I noticed that they enjoyed the questions because it breaks the awkward silence in class and somehow, they're anticipating what the next question of the day will be.
I thought that I'd like to incorporate that idea into my blog. I will pick one random question every week which can be simple, interesting, inspiring, or thought-provoking. In an effort to achieve my goal of writing more stories this year, I'm making this a challenge to myself so that I can build a sensible content by putting my heart and mind into writing. So starting today and every Wednesday thereafter, I will commit to writing a post in response to the question I've picked. And as a starter, this is my Question of the Week...
Flashback... It's 2009. I'm on my 4th year in college at the University of the Philippines and is waiting to graduate.. on time. Yes, this is my goal. I want and have to graduate on time. I don't want to extend my stay in school no matter how enjoyable it is because my parents don't have that much to spend and it'd be better if I find a job right away. I'm an achiever who knows how to have fun. I'm 20, young and carefree, I can do whatever I want and sometimes I don't give a damn. I'm stubborn, kind of.
I love to travel! Whenever there are educational trips in class, I always make it a point to join. At least I can tell my parents that we're required to join or that I'd like to have additional points so I need to join the trip. My mom would surely find a way so that I can join the trip and enjoy my college life. The best so far is our Camiguin trip in Photography class. We toured the entire island in just one day! We went to a hot spring, a cold spring, and my favorite - The White Island! Traveling is so liberating. I want to get lost in a place that I don't know anything about. I want to immerse in other people's culture and travel back to the past and even forward to the future. It's like knowing that the world is a wonderful place to live in.
On a weekend, this is usually what happens... It's 2am and I'm probably half-asleep. My phone rings or beeps. It's a message from my friends telling me that they'll pick me up at my apartment in 5 minutes. Or it could be my best friends asking me to come over their place to hang out and drink some beer. Two in the morning -- stores are not supposed to sell liquor anymore but it isn't something new -- my friends are always prepared. As always, I'm the one who doesn't know how to say no. So in 5 minutes, I'm ready to go. Hanging out with friends is what we, college students, call the foundation of friendship. Funny I know. It's not about the beer or the liquor though.. it's about the bonding, the moment, and the time that we spend with each other.
After a slight hangover and a few hours of sleep, we decide to go to the nearby resort. We'd like to swim our hangovers out, only to see another set of beer waiting on the table. Toxic I know. Then again, it's the foundation of our friendship.
Come Monday, we don't have a class. We have a four-day school week in the university and that's when we catch up on sleep, watch some tv series, and eat instant noodles, and text mom or dad for an advance allowance.
Fast forward to 2014... I'm a mother and a wife. Plane tickets to places all over the country and abroad are sold like pancakes, there are promo fares here and there. I have a credit card to book tickets but I don't always have time to travel. I have to check if I can file a leave from work and check my responsibilities before flying away. Sometimes, I have this need to travel alone.. just like before.. but I can't anymore. I just can't leave Reiko. I can't stop thinking about him. Last year when I traveled with my friends from work for 5 days, surprise!! Reiko already had a big wound on his face and two bruises on his forehead. See what happens when I'm away? So there, traveling? I have to come up with a better plan to make everything work for me and my family.
Now, when my friends call me at 2am to spend the mornight drinking with them, I have to ask permission from my husband who will most likely not allow me to go, which is also understandable. I can't just get drunk and have bad hangovers. What if Reiko wants to play with me and I'm tipsy or intoxicated? I'd probably never forgive myself. So you see, if you're to ask me.. I miss the freedom and spontaneity -- the ability to be flexible and just be anywhere at anytime or be in two places at the same time! That ability to get lost somewhere out there in the middle of nowhere without thinking of anything and worrying about something. I can't anymore. I have a bigger accountability now... But that's not to say that I regret choosing what my life is today.
Yes, I miss a lot of things from 5 years ago but this does not mean that I don't love what and who I have now. Whatever has happened in the past contributed to who I have become. I did graduate on time. And I got hired to work even before my graduation. My friends and I? We have grown.. emotionally and mentally. I've become more independent, more aware of my mistakes, and more responsible. I'm not saying that I'm not free. In fact, I am. Like what I always say, I have a choice everyday. But there's always a need to compromise to make things better for myself and for the people I love. Which is good. That means I have social awareness -- I'm part of a bigger world and even my smallest actions can affect anyone.
How about you? what do you miss most from 5 years ago?